Goodbye to You
by xSorcery
Summary: What is it like to lose half your soul? Half your heart? What is it like to not be able to hear the sweet melody of music? I think I lost half my heart, half my soul when she died. Proof of Life/Soundless Voice one-shot.


**A/N:** I was reading through this and I noticed all the errors I made. I remember writing this at 3 AM before...that's probably why. I made a few edits here and there and changed a name and corrected mistakes and stuff...

**1/13/2013:** I was reading this over, and wow. I still can't believe you guys love this story. I'm reading it and I'm thinking, _I was such a terrible writer back then!_ Thank you for your continued support, even though this story is a few years old!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Vocaloid or the songs or the PVs made from this.

* * *

**Goodbye to You**

_A Soundless Voice/Proof of Life One-Shot_

* * *

"Ehh...we're moving to Hokkaido?" asked Len. "It wouldn't be good for Rin; it's too cold up there, especially now that it's almost winter."

"But we want you two to see your hometown and your first snowfall," his mother, Kiyomi, replied. They lived on the island of Okinawa, where the average year round temperature was 23 degrees Celsius (73 degrees Fahrenheit). It was said that the air in Okinawa was better for one's health but it didn't do much for Rin.

Rin was born with a defect in her brain. That's why she was deaf. When she was five years old, however, the defect grew into a tumor. Rin went through a whole year of radiation treatments when she was just five. The tumor did shrink but now it was growing again, and it's harder to shrink a tumor a second time. It will soon take over the part of her brain that controls her heartbeat and stop her heart.

"And also, your mom and I want to go on a vacation to Hokkaido. After all, it's where we got married, and we don't mind taking you two along," his father, Daichi, added.

Kiyomi chimed in, "You two are going to LOVE Hokkaido! It's the most amazing place in Japan. You'll be able to visit hot springs and there's those monkeys in the mountains that bathe in them for the warmth..."

* * *

Len walked into Rin's bedroom. Rin, feeling the vibrations of his steps from the wooden floor boards, turned around. Using sign language, Len signed, "_We're moving_."

"_Where_?" Rin asked. Speaking wasn't easy for Rin since all humans have to listen before they know how to speak. Whenever she said something, her classmates always teased her because no one can understand her. However, when she didn't speak, her classmates teased her for being shy. The only person that she can call a friend was her brother, Len.

Len pulled out a map of Japan from one of the bookshelves of Rin's room. He pointed to the big island of Hokkaido in the north, where both of them were born.

"_Isn't it cold there_? _It's almost winter, too_," Rin asked.

"_Yes, but we'll be seeing snow. It's the first time for you and me_," Len replied, smiling softly.

Rin grinned. "_I wanna go skiing, snowboarding, have a snowball fight, build a snowman, and drink hot chocolate like they do in the T.V shows. Do you think we'll be able to do that_?"

"_Of course! Mom and Dad are probably going to be away because it's their wedding anniversary too. I promise, when we get there, the first thing we'll do is do one of those things? Pinky promise_." Len extended his pinky toward Rin. Rin shook it with her own pinky eagerly.

_It's hard to believe that someone this lively is going to...die_, thought Len suddenly, tears forming at the back of his eyes. _I'll really miss her._

They were two sides of a coin, inseparable. But now, they were about to be torn apart, by factors that no human can control.

* * *

"That was a long train ride," Kiyomi exclaimed as she got off the train, stretching and yawning at the same time.

"Of course it was – that was ten hours of sitting in a cramped car without space to move around," the twins' father agreed, also stretching.

Rin yawned sleepily, still not quite awake. She was leaning on Len, who immediately felt the change in temperature around them. Len shivered and breathed out. _I can see my breath!_, he thought, amused and surprised at the same time. He could feel Rin shivering beside him.

Rin had put on the thickest layers that their parents had bought. She was almost twice her normal size and the coat was soft and squishy. _Like hugging a pillow_, thought Len. Still, it wasn't enough to keep the cold out.

"Mom?" Len tried to get his mother's attention. "Mom, I think Rin's cold. Can we go inside the station now?"

Rin, who knew how to read lips, shook her head. "_It's okay_," she signed. "_Let Mom enjoy this moment. After all, it's the first time she came back here since her marriage and that was fifteen years ago_."

"_But you're freezing. Look how badly you're shivering_," Len signed back.

"Let's go into the station. I bet it changed a lot over fifteen years," Daichi tried to compromise. The family of four walked into the station, gaping around in awe.

_Whoa! It was never this big_, Kiyomi thought.

_Hokkaido Station changed this much. I bet the cities have changed even more,_ was Daichi's thought process.

"_Len, look!_" Rin pointed at a small booth selling dango. "_Can we go there? I'm STARVING!_"

"_I'll ask_," was Len's reply.

"Mom? Rin and I want to get dango at that booth over there. Can we use our allowance here?" Len asked.

"Sure. Just stay in sight. This place changed so much that I hardly recognize where the bathrooms are!" said Kiyomi.

The twins walked over to the dango booth.

"Hello, kids! Would you like some dango?" the old storekeeper asked us.

"_I want the tri-colored one_," Rin signed toward Len, gesturing that he should tell the storekeeper what she wanted.

"I'll have the normal dango and my sister wants the three-colored one."

"She's deaf?" asked the storekeeper.

Rin nodded, as a reply.

"Well, honey, you should talk more often, even if it sounds funny. My great grand-daughter is deaf too and I love hearing her try to speak. Hearing her speak makes my heart swell. Even if it's hard to understand, seeing her make an effort to try and overcome her disability is heartwarming. Oh, here's your dango. Come again soon!" the storekeeper handed them their orders and went to serve other customers.

* * *

"Len, Rin. We're going to be in the city for a day or two. You guys should be able to stay in the hotel by yourselves," suggested Kiyomi on the second day of vacation. "Call us if you have any trouble or if something occurs," Kiyomi said, casting a worried glance at Rin, who was staring out the window blankly.

"There are some emergency numbers on the notepad next to the phone, just in case something urgent comes up," Daichi added. "And if you guys go out into the snow, be sure to dress warmly and try not to get sick."

"We know, we know," Len said, worried about Rin. She was unusually quiet today. Rin never revealed anything about how she felt to Kiyomi or Daichi. It was always toward Len that she told how she felt.

Kiyomi and Daichi left, worry still etched onto their faces. Although they never knew what was wrong with Rin, they knew that she was acting strange this morning. For once, Rin had gotten up early in the morning, and for the first time ever, she wrote something that was NOT for a school assignment. They weren't sure what she wrote and they didn't want to snoop since privacy was important to them. Kiyomi and Daichi hoped that Rin would tell Len something...

The door slammed shut. Len sighed, relieved that their parents left so he could interrogate Rin.

"_Are you feeling well_?" Len signed to Rin.

"_I just want to play in the snow. It looks so fun, all white and fluffy and soft..._" replied Rin.

"Okay then, let's go!" Len said aloud, knowing Rin would read his lips.

Rin beamed and got up from her chair near the window to get dressed.

* * *

Rin closed the door behind her and slid down to the floor. She really did want to play in the snow and knew Len wanted to too. That's why she had agreed to go. However, she was feeling dizzy that day and her head hurt. Rin had seen the pain and pity and tears in her family's eyes and kept on smiling, hoping that they would too.

Rin knew she was going to die, but she wanted to experience this strange phenomenon called snow before it happened.

She got up from the floor and went to find her thickest and warmest layers, knowing how cold it was.

* * *

"WHEE!" exclaimed Len as he slid down the bunny slope on a pair of skiis. Rin came sliding down next to him, reached the bottom of the slope and promptly fell. Len couldn't help but laugh at her face, taking a picture with the camera strapped onto his wrist.

"You should...see...the...look...on your...face!" Len said between fits of laughter. His sides hurt from laughing so hard. Rin smiled at him, happy that Len laughed so joyfully today.

"Come on," Len said, helping Rin up. "Let's try a harder slope."

"_Alright_."

* * *

By the time they finished skiing, it was already late in the afternoon. The twins' lunch consisted of the tempura they bought at the shop in the hotel. Now they were arguing over what to do next.

"_I picked an activity for us to do and now it's your turn to pick_," Len signed toward Rin.

"_No, you go ahead. I'm happy with whatever you're happy with_," Rin signed back.

Len pursed his lips. "_Tell me what you want to do, at least_."

"_I want to try building a snowman, having a snowball fight, make snow angels, and drink hot chocolate. What about you_?"

"_Same here. Let's go!_"

* * *

"_Take a small chunk of snow and keep rolling it and rolling in the ground, letting more snow stick to it so it becomes larger. Then you'll have part of your snowman_!" Len signed, teaching Rin how to build the base of a snowman.

Rin rolled a chunk of snow around and around. However, snow kept falling off, not sticking to the bigger ball of snow. Rin kept rolling and rolling the chunk around, oblivious to the fact that the original snowball was shrinking. When Rin finally realized this, Len was literally rolling on the floor laughing. Except he was rolling in the snow, creating a deformed snow angel. He finally stopped when Rin hit him in the face with a well-aimed snowball.

"Bring it on!" he yelled to Rin, making ammunition of his own. However, Rin was already ready with snowballs.

Before he had the chance to throw his own snowball, Rin hit him in the face again, this time smack on the nose, causing Len to drop his own snowball.

"You're really good at this..." Len said to Rin.

Rin stuck her tongue out in reply and threw three snowballs at Len.

Len dodged two of them but the third one hit him in the stomach. The impact wasn't so great because of all the layers he was wearing.

Len quickly made his own snowballs while dodging the snowballs Rin threw at him. Just when he thought he had enough, Rin ran out of snowballs.

"My turn!" Len threw his snowballs with his best aim. About half of them hit and half didn't. Rin was frantically trying to dodge, while making her own ammunition.

The cycle of making snowballs and dodging and throwing snowballs went on and on, until the sun set.

The twins were so tired after all that, they didn't even want to attempt to make a snowman or snow angels the rest of the day. They slept peacefully through the night.

* * *

Rin got up during sunrise that morning, continuing the letter that she started to write the day her parents went out. After writing a few more paragraphs, she took her chair to the window and watched the sun rise, signifying the start of a brand new day.

In her hand, she clutched a glass of water and a bottle of pain-relief pills.

* * *

The first thing the twins did after breakfast was continue their snowball fight from yesterday. The snowballs they made were still there, and the imprints the snowballs made on the surrounding trees were still visible.

After a tiring two hours of snowball fighting, the two twins called a truce, knowing that they will never beat each other. Rin flopped down into the snow, closing her eyes and moving her arms and legs, making the classic snow angel.

After a while, she opened her eyes and signed to Len, "_How am I supposed to get up without creating holes in my snow angel_?"

Len was surprised with the question and didn't know the answer himself. "_I guess the only way you can do it is by making holes in the feet part. Let me pull you up_," he signed back, extending his arm toward his sister.

Rin grabbed his hand. Len pulled her up, and true to his word, the snow angel stayed intact. Except for the feet, of course. Len took the camera and took pictures, mentally noting that this is the first snow angel that Rin made.

"_Would you like to continue that snowman from yesterday_?" Len asked Rin through sign language.

"_Do you want to_?" she replied. "_I don't mind if we don't, but we spent a whole day on an activity I chose._"

"_Let's just continue show we can show Mom and Dad what we did while they were away, alright_?"

"_Sounds good to me_."

* * *

The two twins got up to the head of the snowman. Out of the blue, Rin wobbled and fell.

"_Are you alright_?" Len signed anxiously, bending down to check on her. Rin was usually a graceful person while walking and this is one of the few times he had ever seen her fall.

"_I'm alright_..._just let me rest for a moment. My head hurts_," complained Rin.

_Head hurts,_ thought Len. _Does that mean the tumor is...growing?_

Len straightened and picked up Rin. _She's so light, even with all the heavy clothing_. Len ran as fast as he could into the hotel and called an ambulance. After that, he called Kiyomi and Daichi, knowing that they should know about this.

* * *

"The tumor grew a lot since the last time she got an X-ray. She probably kept it from you. She's hardly conscious at all. We put her on morphine so she wouldn't feel the pain. At this rate, I don't think she'll live through the night," the doctor said to the Kagamine family.

"Can I go see her now?" asked Len desperately. He had a feeling that Rin had something to tell him.

"Of course you may, but I'll give you a warning. She might not look the same as the last time you saw her..."

Len was already out of the doctor's office.

* * *

Len quickly located Rin's room and peered through the window, shocked at what he was seeing.

_That cannot be her_, Len thought. _She looks like she's been fighting a whole war by herself and losing_.

Rin was awake when Len came by. She started signing, "_Len, can you play the piano one last time. I really want to feel it. Play Beethoven for me, please_."

Len nodded, willing to do whatever he can. He stopped a nurse walking through the hall.

"Excuse me, but is there a piano somewhere here in this building? And if possible, can I take a patient there to listen to me play?" Len asked her.

The nurse replied, "There's one downstairs in the auditorium. And you might be able to bring the patient there if he or she is not too sick and is feeling well enough to go there."

"Well, I wanted to bring my sister. She asked me to play Beethoven for her."

"And which patient here is your sister?" the nurse asked.

"The girl over there, in the bed near the window," replied Len.

"Oh, she's awake. Then yes, you can. Let me find a wheelchair for you."

* * *

_Beethoven_, thought Rin. _The man who was still able to play piano while he was deaf. However there's a difference between me and him. He wasn't born deaf; he grew deaf._ Rin sat back in her wheelchair, relaxing and just feeling the music.

Rin stared at Len. _He seems like a totally different person when playing. He's just so serene and peaceful when he's near music. And he's a lot more serious too._

Len's deft fingers danced across the white piano keys, whispering as they moved. The pain that was growing inside Rin's head became excruciating.

And she fainted, head lolling back...

* * *

"Len..." his mother trailed off, seeing the expression on her son's face. "She'll pull through. Rin's always stubborn and strong."

"Mom, don't lie to yourself for my sake. She won't make it. Not this time.," Len said, holding back tears.

"Don't blame yourself for taking her away from her room," Kiyomi said, knowing what kind of turmoil was going on in Len's head. "She really wanted to hear you play since you rarely played while she was around. You were scared that she was going to be sad that she couldn't hear, right? In truth, she felt your music, which is something deeper than merely listening. Anyone can listen to something; it takes a close bond to someone or something to feel it."

"Len," Daichi called him, coming out of Rin's room. "Rin's calling for you."

Len got up, zombie-like, and walked into the room. He sat down in a chair near her bed.

Rin signed to him, "_When you go back to the hotel, look in the vanity drawer of my room_."

"_But we're not going back; we're staying here until you get better_."

Rin shook her head. "_I'm not going to._" She sighed and looked blissfully peaceful.

Opening her mouth, she whispered, "Th-thank you." Rin closed her eyes – they were never to open again.

* * *

Len got back to the hotel room, packing everything and going back to Okinawa, where they would hold the funeral for Rin. Before leaving, he went into the room that Rin once occupied and looked in the drawer of the vanity. There was a letter written by Rin, the pages stained by tears.

_Len,_

_If you're reading this, then that means that I'm in heaven now, looking down on you. Hopefully I was able to hear you play Beethoven one last time._

_Please don't be sad. You were always sad around me. I kept on smiling so that you would too. I'm sorry if my death caused you pain, but just know that I'll be living inside of you. After all, we're twins right and we share a soul and most likely, a heart. We are one half of a whole. Two sides of a coin._

_Keep on living life to the fullest so you can tell me all about your adventures when you get to heaven. Mom and Dad are probably sad about my death too so they shouldn't lose you as well if you were thinking along those lines._

_I just want you to know that you were the best brother and friend that a girl could ever have. Name your first child after me, won't you? And I also want to tell you, thank you, for always being there._

_Goodbye doesn't mean forever, you know. We'll definitely meet again. There's no bond as deep as a bond between twins._

_I'll always miss you._

_~Rin_

* * *

Here lies Rin Kagamine.

The best daughter, sister, and friend a person could ever have.

May she rest in peace forever.

**.Fin.**


End file.
